I've been seriously
listening to music for what, 6 years now? And so I'm definitely an expert. From
my long study in music, and my recent deduction skills acquired by burning
through 2 seasons of Sherlock in 4 days, I've put together a surefire list of
ways to write a hit song and earn millions of dollars.
Sidenote: Tell me if you
watch Sherlock, because my brother and I are seriously obsessed and spent
yesterday afternoon learning how to play the theme on the piano and violin.
Let's fangirl together pleeeease.
Okay, back to my get
rich quick plan.
1. Think about what you
love, what you’re really passionate about. For some people, it’s a type of food,
and for others it’s a day of the week. So if you're as Pinterest addicted as I am, sing about OOTDs and supposedly simple DIYs to your heart's content.
2. Write about your recent break-up, but add some catchy lines, hopefully with some words that show that you really mean it. Multiple "evers" to show that your relationship is over for good are a must. Also, include some line about hipsters, because that's a must these days, according to T.Swizzle and the Zac Brown Band. I mean, it worked for Adele didn't it? Never mind that her voice is like melted caramel.
3. Write about how you
found yourself after you hit rock bottom and are now the star of your own life.
Puh-lease, we all know that you’re a firework. Make sure that you include all cliché
phrases known to mankind. Heck, you can even just string together a bunch of
inspiring quotes and put them to a tune.
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| #twinningwithkaty |
4. Write down a lot of meaningful phrases that
sound deep but mean absolutely nothing. Make your song a metaphor for life,
food, school, animals, social media, technology, and everything in between. In
other words, be so vague that your song can apply to literally anything. Don't forget to come up with a super artsy album cover.
5. Be Beyonce. Because when you’re Beyonce, you can surprise
the whole world by releasing an album with no advertisement or promo
whatsoever, and become the fastest selling iTunes album in history. After all,
she is Queen Bey (shoutout to Lorde because she’s my fave).
Well, there you have it. My guide to writing the top songs
of 2014. What would you write about if you had to write a song? Other than
Pinterest, of course.
