I've been seriously listening to music for what, 6 years now? And so I'm definitely an expert. From my long study in music, and my recent deduction skills acquired by burning through 2 seasons of Sherlock in 4 days, I've put together a surefire list of ways to write a hit song and earn millions of dollars.
Sidenote: Tell me if you watch Sherlock, because my brother and I are seriously obsessed and spent yesterday afternoon learning how to play the theme on the piano and violin. Let's fangirl together pleeeease.
Okay, back to my get rich quick plan.
1. Think about what you love, what you’re really passionate about. For some people, it’s a type of food, and for others it’s a day of the week. So if you're as Pinterest addicted as I am, sing about OOTDs and supposedly simple DIYs to your heart's content.
2. Write about your recent break-up, but add some catchy lines, hopefully with some words that show that you really mean it. Multiple "evers" to show that your relationship is over for good are a must. Also, include some line about hipsters, because that's a must these days, according to T.Swizzle and the Zac Brown Band. I mean, it worked for Adele didn't it? Never mind that her voice is like melted caramel.
3. Write about how you found yourself after you hit rock bottom and are now the star of your own life. Puh-lease, we all know that you’re a firework. Make sure that you include all cliché phrases known to mankind. Heck, you can even just string together a bunch of inspiring quotes and put them to a tune.
4. Write down a lot of meaningful phrases that sound deep but mean absolutely nothing. Make your song a metaphor for life, food, school, animals, social media, technology, and everything in between. In other words, be so vague that your song can apply to literally anything. Don't forget to come up with a super artsy album cover.
5. Be Beyonce. Because when you’re Beyonce, you can surprise the whole world by releasing an album with no advertisement or promo whatsoever, and become the fastest selling iTunes album in history. After all, she is Queen Bey (shoutout to Lorde because she’s my fave).
Well, there you have it. My guide to writing the top songs of 2014. What would you write about if you had to write a song? Other than Pinterest, of course.