Monday, December 30, 2013

How To Write A Hit Song in 10 minutes


I've been seriously listening to music for what, 6 years now? And so I'm definitely an expert. From my long study in music, and my recent deduction skills acquired by burning through 2 seasons of Sherlock in 4 days, I've put together a surefire list of ways to write a hit song and earn millions of dollars. 

Sidenote: Tell me if you watch Sherlock, because my brother and I are seriously obsessed and spent yesterday afternoon learning how to play the theme on the piano and violin. Let's fangirl together pleeeease. 

Okay, back to my get rich quick plan.

1. Think about what you love, what you’re really passionate about. For some people, it’s a type of  food, and for others it’s a day of the week. So if you're as Pinterest addicted as I am, sing about OOTDs and supposedly simple DIYs to your heart's content. 

2.  Write about your recent break-up, but add some catchy lines, hopefully with some words that show that you really mean it. Multiple "evers" to show that your relationship is over for good are a must. Also, include some line about hipsters, because that's a must these days, according to T.Swizzle and the Zac Brown Band. I mean, it worked for Adele didn't it? Never mind that her voice is like melted caramel.

3. Write about how you found yourself after you hit rock bottom and are now the star of your own life. Puh-lease, we all know that you’re a firework. Make sure that you include all cliché phrases known to mankind. Heck, you can even just string together a bunch of inspiring quotes and put them to a tune.

#twinningwithkaty
4. Write down a lot of meaningful phrases that sound deep but mean absolutely nothing. Make your song a metaphor for life, food, school, animals, social media, technology, and everything in between. In other words, be so vague that your song can apply to literally anything. Don't forget to come up with a super artsy album cover. 


5. Be Beyonce. Because when you’re Beyonce, you can surprise the whole world by releasing an album with no advertisement or promo whatsoever, and become the fastest selling iTunes album in history. After all, she is Queen Bey (shoutout to Lorde because she’s my fave).


Well, there you have it. My guide to writing the top songs of 2014. What would you write about if you had to write a song? Other than Pinterest, of course.



26 comments:

  1. Angel always says that he could write a best selling song--just have one line repeated over and over again for the whole song. :P Pop music these days is sometimes pretty silly...
    And I'm a big sherlock fan! I can't wait for the next season!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just think I can write songs and Taylor Swift would sing them , peak of imagination , isn't it? But the back of my notebooks are filled with zig zag lyrics (aka craaaap one)

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahaha that's too funny! i bet there is a certain formula people use to make hit songs. i mean.. i was just telling jacob that every katy perry song almost sounds exactly the same.. and he told me it's bc there's a formula that just happens to work.. so they'll keep doing it until it doesn't.


    i've really wanted to write some music at some point in my life.. but we'll see. it hasn't been number one priority. :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. Haha, love it! And, oh-so-true! <3 Sometimes no effort at all can get you success! :P

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahaha! Love this post! Number 4 is so true!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wish I could write a song!! hahaha, thanks for these tips! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lol! Great post! Love your sense of humor!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hahahaha thanks for this cracked me up

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm going to be a millionaire! Don't worry I'll credit you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sounds easy enough! Why was I looking into doing anything else when this is such a full proof plan!?

    ReplyDelete
  11. sounds like a solid plan Best of luck to you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yeah, I completely agree! Katy Perry and Justin Timberlake- I swear their music hasn't changed in the last 10 years. And you should go for it! I would definitely recommend this formula ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Right? Like what even was Beyonce's new album?

    ReplyDelete
  14. You're absolutely welcome! I'm sure they're perfect!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you! I laughed while writing this haha :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I agree completely! Like Taylor Swift? You're 22? Ok, write a song about it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I haven't tested it yet but I'll be sure to let you know!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Exactly! Who needs a stable job when you can just write songs? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thank you Karissa! I have faith ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. How about I'll write one called "I'll be a 40 your old mom next year"! How sexy does that sound? LOL

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for leaving a comment! You probably just made my day :) I do my best to reply to every single one, even if it takes a little while. Make sure you're not a no-reply blogger so we don't get deprived of a wonderful conversation!
xo, Hima